Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
