You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
