Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
