So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
