Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Randomize
