so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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