I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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