I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I will die if light touches me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
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