he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
