You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
