My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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