Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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