I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
