Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just come out here and I will go home with you...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
