but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
