Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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