Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize