my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
