its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
