Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
