Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
