Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
