Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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