he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
