I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
