i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He shit in the fireplace
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
