I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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