Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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