So drunk its hurt
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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