if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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