can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
