I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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