im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
