Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
