he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
