i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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