He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize