I want to have your abortion
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize