Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
