i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
The Olympian is in my bed
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
