Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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