yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Randomize
