last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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