I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
