Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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