dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
