i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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