This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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