Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
