so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
