and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
