ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
