the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
