Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize