how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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