I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
