bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
