I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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