Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So drunk its hurt
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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