There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We are two peas in an std pod
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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