nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
