The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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