You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize