There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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