i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
my poor anus
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I licked your asshole in confidence.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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