she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
