if i died would you start the facebook group?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
