Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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