I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
