Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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