i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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