What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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