Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize