at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize