Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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